Yesterday I revisited my Journals with the intent on doing something creative and preparing them to take to school to show my college students an example of journal making. For a few years I have been using the Moleskine variety because of its lovely paper and its portability. The size is good for working in and I like the continuity of working in the same type of book year after year.
As I was flipping through the pages I realised that I had been working in this particular journal for three years!! Wow.
I saw sketching work from my paintings for Bruce's, the development of the first branding for Made With Love Market and sketches that were included in Bill Mollison's book "The Permaculture book of Ferment and Human Nutrition". To be honest I was a bit miffed about how "un-journally" productive I have been. This is a time line of my making, the marks of my creative process captured within these pages, but I guess I don't journal my sewing process where most of my time has been spent over the last few years. Perhaps that explains the length of time I have spent in this one book.
I found the the beginnings of many design jobs that I have completed and so, so, so many that I didn't get paid for. I got quite enraged about how many people take advantage of my skills and pull out of work half way through a job and think that its ok not to pay me. I mean... I still did the work! I still created images for people, I used my time in an attempt to give them something original. To be honest I am very much over freelancing and will be demanding a deposit on my time from now on.
Lastly I dug out my journals from my own college years (Yes, I have kept nearly every journal I have worked in). Those journals were so precious to me at the time. A collection of many hours of documenting my thought processes. I carried them everywhere, the covers are worn with use and some pages are falling out.
To be honest - the work in those journals are awful. I will not be taking them into my students least they think that is the bench mark for their own work. The output of my art at that time was a great period of growth for me, an emerging of my true artist self, but I don't think the journals really reflect that correctly.
Oh my, how I have grown. How life has shaped my viewing. How important is the internet to my work now and the globality of my research today. My first year of college was the first time I used the internet, I knew it had power but I did not know what to do with it. It is completely grounding to realise how far I have come. Perhaps these artifacts are a good reminder on those days when you feel you just can't draw and there is no creativeness left in your body.
Sometimes I think we all need reminders like these.